It's sometimes hard for me to feel like I'm doing Waldorf the "right way" in my home. If you look on Pinterest you'll see photos of beautifully staged shelves with lovely wooden toys, children engaging in creative and constructive play games, and all around a general sense of calm and peace. Whereas my home seems to be in a constant state of chaos and mayhem, with little boys running around like SpongeBob SquarePants making random squeaking and clicking noises and laughing hysterically at themselves. (No, it's not Autism, just kids that like to make noise.)
But I take comfort knowing this one thing: Steiner designed his school environments to simulate the home environment. Which means I'm about 80-90-% of the way there in bringing Waldorf into our home. Hooray! Literally, if you have a home (no matter how big, small, or unconventional it might seem) then you can do Waldorf with your children. There are 3 main things to strive for when you're trying to produce a Waldorf environment for your children: Peace, Natural Play, and Rhythm. Now, full disclosure, I can really struggle with all 3 of those sometimes, especially the Rhythm part, so don't fall under the impression that I've got this all down pat. Because I don't. The never ending pile of laundry in my living room is a testament to that! But I do keep striving towards a calm and peaceful daily rhythm because I know how important it is for my boys and for my marriage! Finding our balance and our own groove in the universe can be difficult, we have a number of problems in our family - anxiety, and ADHD being a big part of them - so we definitely have to adjust our expectations of life to be a bit different than what other people have. But our rhythm is slowly taking shape, curving around the peculiarities of our lives, and getting adjusted as we change from one year to the next.
So how do you set up a rhythm in your home? This was something I struggled with for years, especially when Robert was born. He was an incredibly high needs baby, and sleep was our single largest issue. Trying to get him on a solid sleep schedule that didn't involve me laying in bed for 12+ hours at a time was almost impossible. We finally settled into a method of nursing to sleep in a blacked out bedroom that had some form of white noise going at all times. Even with all of that though, his sleep was a bit unpredictable. It wasn't until I took the Rhythm Round-up from Waldorf Essentials that I was finally able to figure out how to bring some predictability in our lives, just in time for Edward to be born. And he was so easy in comparison to his older brother, I was able to get him to sleep very quickly, and then turn my attention to Robert to get him to sleep. And honestly, that was the very beginning of our rhythm at home. Just focusing on getting both of them to sleep. Family Nap time and Bedtimes were our anchor points, anything else could happen during the day, but Nap time and Bedtime were set in stone. This naturally led to consistency in the timing of meals, instead of just eating lunch or dinner when we got hungry, I fed everyone right before laying down. Which meant that two aspects of our rhythm - Food and Sleep - instantly became the most predictable parts of the day for the boys. And let's face it, when you've got two children under the age of 3, those are basically the most important parts of the day anyways! The rest of the day we would spend outside, playing and exploring all the new sights and sounds of spring. And those were our days. Play, Eat, Sleep, repeat as necessary. The baby nursed as much as he wanted, and if he was tired in between our large nap time then he slept in my arms outside in the shade. If the boys were very dirty at the end of the day then baths usually happened right after dinner, and then we would snuggle into bed.
At first (and this is usually considered a huge No-No in the Waldorf world) the only way I could persuade Robert into bed while I nursed was to play a quiet show on the small TV we had in the room. I usually streamed a show like Daniel Tiger, Little Bear or the Beatrix Ppotter Tales (both of the latter available on Youtube) and when he would get too excited and start bouncing around on the bed I would pause his show until he sat down and snuggled up against my back again. It was a pretty good incentive for him to keep still, especially because it was the only time of day that he got any shows.
Eventually I began to phase out the shows and started playing audio stories on my tablet for him to listen to instead of watching a show till he fell asleep. My favorites were StoryNory - a free streaming service, and Sparkle Stories - a paid subscription service that loads stories onto Soundcloud every few days for free listening. You never know what you will get using the Soundcloud option, so I liked to switch back and forth between both to keep things age related. There are lots of story streaming options online, and I'll make a post of our favorite audio stories.
So that is kind of the basics of establishing a base Rhythm in your home. Once that is so set in stone that everyone just does it naturally, then you can work on expanding your rhythm to cover other things. Working in some chores/tidy time before meals is a natural next step, and if you do them with your children (especially if they are younger than eight years old) then it also becomes a bonding experience as your children learn to emulate the ways that adults do things. Yes, even if it ends up being frustrating for everyone involved! Frustrating things can be a bonding experience as well, as children learn that being mad at someone doesn't mean that person leaves their lives. Working through anger and frustration is an important skill to learn, apologizing and asking for forgiveness is an important skill to learn, letting go and forgiving people are important skills to learn, and when kids learn those things through watching and working with their parents it is a bonding experience. We don't typically think of things like that as bonding time, but they are. Family Chores are a time for bonding. Study time for your homeschool is a time for bonding. Bonding together doesn't always mean warm fuzzy feelings and snuggles on the couch. Sometimes it means working through big feelings, doing tasks that we don't always want to do, and learning to follow the parents. Waldorf is not a child-led philosophy - it is teacher/parents leading their children and giving children freedom within a set of structure and boundaries. This is why Rhythm is so important, and in my opinion, the very foundation of a happy and smooth running Waldorf Home.
Outdoor time is another important aspect of Waldorf life at home, children thrive in fresh air and sunshine no matter what the weather. I know, that's a hard one for a lot of Americans to accept - during the winter the last thing we often want to do is spend loads of time outdoors. I'm not a big fan of being out in freezing temperatures to be honest, and winter is hard to get everyone outside as much as they need, especially if I'm pregnant. This year we have proper snow clothes for all the kids, sturdy boots all around, but winter is still so hard for me. I dislike being outside in the cold, and the feeling of snow crunching under my feet is like nails on a chalkboard for me. A constant struggle we have is going low media. I know how important it is to limit screen time for the boys, but let me tell you, once the Rona lock downs hit I gave up. We didn't have playgrounds or libraries to go to, and I had college courses I was finishing, so the TV stayed on. All. Day. Long. It was bad, but I didn't really have any other options, I HAD to get my classes done. My current goal is to keep our mornings focused on tidying, homeschooling, and playing outside during the the warmer parts of the morning, and then use a few quiet shows in the afternoon to keep them occupied while I get some work done on the computer.
Ultimately though, Waldorf in the home isn't about pretty things and perfectly staged shelves. Yes, having a home filled with all wooden toys and natural wood decor is lovely and a nice goal to work towards, but ultimately that fluff isn't the essence of Waldorf. Rhythm, peace, outdoor exploration, and a low media environment are far more important to put your energy into first. Start with what you have, even if it's all plastic flashy toys or a half finished home with no cupboards on the walls, and work from there. Work on the basics first, and then the fluff will naturally follow as you gain experience and begin to see things in a new light!
What are your favorite tips for bringing Waldorf into your home?
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